Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A mission not impossible.

To those few who read this, you probably already know a lot that goes on in my life. this post is probably not a suprise to you with what im about to do. The last couple of months im sure you've noticed i complain a lot. its not on purpose for dramatic effect, i prommise. I have just been stuck in a rut and im sure many have noticed. you get that feeling of lonelyness, that no one is understanding how youre feeling and no one really cares to know either. that evrything bad is happening to you one after another and you feel mistreated by loved ones and in my case i actually was, and many more depressing feelings. yes, i know this sounds REALLY dramatic and i'm sorry for that but i know the are people out there feeling this way. with this feeling that ive been having for months off and on now ive come to the conclusion the cause of all this is that i have lost myself. Not physically but mentally. i can hardly recognize who i am anymore, the fun happy care free Allie who loved everyone and was not stressed out every 2.5 seconds.
so- what does a girl do when she is faced with this problem? she sets her free- sprit out as she does often , but only to find one purpose. myself. how do i do that you ask? I go a a 9-day trip to Washington to bike 300 miles in 5 days. Washington i might add is BEAUTIFUL. mostly anyays, once you start getting more east it gets kinda yucky. the first few days were fun filed. living the life of a tourist, seeing Seattle and Forks (where Twilight was filmed) and had a blast. You never really notice all the beautiful things our heavenly father created until your actually out of your comfort zone somewhere new and exciting. everything thing there was special in its own way. I could for sure take my husband and kids to live up there for a while. Anyways, after we had our touristic fun we set out for Redmound, Washington to start our race. during those 5 days i indeed did find what i wanted :)when your faced to do something you've never done before, with out the assitance of the ones you lean most on you would be suprised at how much you can accomplish! yes, i was so sore and cranky at the end of everyday but i was so thankful that i as able to do so much! through this trip i learned that im stronger than i though, more determined, okay with being alone, made new friends, found happiness, found the things i DO NOT like in what i want for my husband, and also learn to be humble and be humble toward people even when they dont deserve it. that is a lot to learn in a week my friends. but now that i know these i am at such peace with myself. it amazing. at the end of the race i had gained so much more than a bunch of new biking equiptment. i got a whole new insight on life and - i got myself back. not completely but its getting there. so now, heres to a mission that will continue all summer and for the rest of the year that i will put myself in oportunities that ive never had and continue to let my free spirit soar in search for the love of myself. i will continually be updating this (hopefully) to keep yall informed on the progress ive been making in hopes that women out there will be encouraged to do the same thing and find the woman they lost eeither to men, work, children, or anything else. heaven father made you the way you are for a reason, so you could overcome the challenges that are being faced with to make you strong. i know you can over come them and be who you are really meant to be again. so heres to a wonderful journey and a happy ending!

also, keep Amanda Lloyd in your prays please. Her progress everyday is a blessing from H.F.